Pain’s Threshold

This is Pork.. i love him hes so cute!!! he likes lotsa atention so feel free to play with him =D

YAY! im so happy! rog bought me a gloomy bear today. after first seeing the gloomy bears, i had to look them up online and i saw the red one and fell in love. i really wanted a red one, but i did not think we would find one…BUT.. we did *dances* we looked all over the place and so many dead ends, but then we wandered by a store and i noticed a red and a black gloomy bear in a storefront window. i seriouly jumped, then was torn cos i really liked the black too… but i got the red =D cos its sooo cute… see!! =D

i think im going to call her Misery.

i look in the mirror
a fimlar face
but i dont know who i see
im so different from what i used to be

like a wreckingball it came
hit with all the force of lightning
shatted my frial sence of stabilty
enteral winter
never ending cold
the force that followed

i picked my self up
only to be thown down again
except this time harder then ever
but i managed
i survived
as i awlays do
and i always will

we all have our scars

time mends
all wounds
but they’ll always be
there
reminding me
of what i used to be.

heh - stumbled upon this, and i found it amusing.

many of you know that for about 5 months i was living up in inuvik, NWT
WELL……… this is what i saw when i got off the plane

tho.. once you get in the town, all you see if garbage, and above ground water pipes. lol… and this is “down town” inuvik. http://virtualguidebooks.com/NWT/LowerMackenzie/Inuvik/DowntownInuvikL.html

we are human beings
we ceate
we destroy
play god
but who is there to judge
whats right and
whats wrong
when we have become our own god?

we jude and kill
recreate and destroy
in the company of the shaddows

we are human beings
we ceate
we destroy
play god
but who is there to judge
whats right and
whats wrong
when we have become our own god?

who are you to judge?

don’t you hate feeling dead?
i say i live
but that’s not really true
i died a while ago
and no one even knew.

i never had a funeral
i didn’t want people to mourn
i didn’t want them to wear black
because it can be worn to
represent life too

i didn’t want them to cry
because tears should never
fall out of pain

i didn’t want them to
lay flowers on my grave
because flowers are alive
and sweet smelling
and should be given on
birthdays and holidays
to be enjoyed

i didn’t want them to bury me
i don’t want to rot underneath
while people visit the marker above
to pay respect
that they never thought to show
when i could see it

i didn’t want to be cremated
burnt to ashes by a fire
when the fire within me
could have done much worse

i didn’t want a memorial
why bother remembering me
when i’ve already passed
if you didn’t bother to
when i was still here

i didn’t want people to
talk about me, and memories,
and how well they knew me
because they didn’t know me
if they had, they would have known
when i had died

i didn’t want to tell anyone
because i didn’t want them to
experience my death yet
i know they aren’t ready to
even if i’ve already passed on

so i pretend to live
and i play the charade of life
and everyone believes me
and when they’re ready to
they will realize i’m already dead

because i died a while ago
i just haven’t gotten around
to laying down yet.

Shaking, what’s wrong with me?
A girl is crying in the corner and there’s nothing I can do about it
It’s not cold, not anymore
It was this morning
Couldn’t get up, it was too cold
Shaking, death is all around
So much death, so much sickness
She wants to die, she’s tired of her body
Shaking, the pain is too much
She was so strong, but it broke her
She wants to move on, to leave us all
How will we get by?
A daughter, so loving
So caring, doing all she can
She doesn’t know what else to do
Shes dying, will soon be gone
every moment is precious in it’s bittersweetness
Shaking, it’s so hard to stand
She is my age
my friend, my co-conspirator
How can she deal with this?
The pain is so much, too much
The only way to bear it is to not bear it at all
It isn’t happening, she wont be gone, she’s still strong
Still there for support when the cruel world lashes out
Shaking, but it is not so
Blindness doesn’t hide the truth
Ignoring it wont make it leave
Shaking, in pain that isn’t pain
The cold of dispare, of helplessness
resounds through my soul, causing earthquakes of emotions
Of all unfortune, she does not stand alone
I’m helpless, useless, what am I good for?
So much sickness, so much death
It’s surrounding me with it’s emptyness of stolen losses
Shaking, in the darkness of my sorrow
Shaking, because it’s all I can do.

What’s up?

Just another teen face, lost in the haze

Mix up

Confused and unsure, stuck in the maze

Mess up

Making mistakes, like everyone does

Straight up

Experimenting for the hell of it, just ‘cuz

Stand up

Disenchanted idealist, speaking opinionated truths

Stood up

Abandoned heart, guilt-ridden for all goofs

Suck up

Trying to find a way to get to the top

Stuck up

So ego-blinded, can’t even stop

Crack up

An avalanche, all the shit comes boiling down

Shoot up

Killing the soul, with a smile not a frown

Screw up

Could there ever be a change of ways?

Fuck up

Just another teen face, lost in the haze

the harder i try
the harder i seem to fall
ive got to get up
get out
move away from all this pain
but how can i run
from something thats inside my head
such a big part of me for so long
it just seems so wrong…..

Emptiness, A void
Darkness, pitch black
tearing up inside
hollow eyes, tearless cry
breath shallow and dry
hurts to live
no more to give
soul was sold
trapped and caged
behind iron twisted bars
alone
wretched emotion
tears apart
what once was devotion
now is
a broken heart
utterly mourning
Bleeding…….bleeding
preyed upon
Dying………..dying
mourning

A passion of tears close my soul
As I reach for your caress
Let me die in your flesh
While the heavenly bodies
Burn out before our eyes
Let me die and die again
Taste my blood with emotional lust
Let your touch embrace my mind.
Show me a hidden path
To the source of wisdom.
My river in which the dawn never shows,
Is hope hiding.
Blood of my past is still dripping

Life is a blur in my pupils
Life is a scramble puzzle
Life is a deafening buzz inside my ears
Life is not meant for me to comprehend

Life has no values
Life is the bitter smell that drifts me to another place
Life is the beginning to an End
Life is an obstacle, impossible to thrive

(Life keeps slipping away, JUST ONE FIX)

Hug me, Hold me
Hurt me, Bite me
Bleed me, Cut me, Kill me.
Make me your forever.
Dream me. make me.
Dress me up and play with me
i am your doll, your devil fuck.
Tie me up.
Chain me, Cuff me, Fuck me
Do what you want, I Belong to You.
Taste me, Use me, Lick me, Scar me.
Get me drunk. Break me.
Worship me:
I am jesus

Slide the blade along my arm,
Remember who I used to be.
Know the hate I have become,
I am never really free.
Blood drips down from the blade,
Just as red as before.
Pumped by a broken heart,
Afraid to love once more.
Touch my lips to the bleeding cut,
A taste of my cold life.
Manifest my insane mind,
Discover it with a knife.
Try to make the cut deep enough
To kill away the pain.
Hurt myself bad enough
To cover up the stain.

Your Heart is Black

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poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
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